Women Who Can’t Not: The Woman Who Rewrote Camping

For most of her life, Joyce Dela Cruz considered camping a dirty word. Childhood experiences had left her with memories of dirt, bugs, heat, and discomfort, and she had little interest in revisiting them. But after spending years deliberately challenging old fears, from learning to swim as an adult to completing open water swims and endurance races, Joyce decided camping could be next. She arrived at The Camp Retreat expecting to push herself. She left wanting to come back.

Why would someone who doesn’t like camping sign up for a camping retreat?

Charlotte: What’s your name, where do you live, and what does camping usually mean to you?

Joyce: My name is Joyce Dela Cruz. I live in Rocklin, California.

For many years, camping was a dirty word because I had some unpleasant experiences camping as a child. That just became ingrained in my brain.

Now I have a very different perspective on it.

Charlotte: What does your world look like day to day?

Joyce: I’m an HR professional, and I work at a hospital in downtown Sacramento. Monday through Friday is very busy.

On weekends, I’m usually trying to decompress and get ready for the next week. It can feel like a rinse and spin cycle where you just keep going.

I spend time with family and friends. I love going to the farmers market on Sundays. I also have a friend who is a flower farmer, so sometimes I go over there, help out, and pick flowers. Things are pretty quiet these days.

Charlotte: What made you sign up for the Camp Retreat, especially since you didn’t consider yourself a camper?

Joyce: It just looked really cool. I liked the model of having a small group that was women only. Everything was supported, including meals and activities.

There was even the option to rent a tent, although I ended up buying my own because I wanted to know what I was getting myself into every night. I decided to go because camping was something I wasn’t comfortable with, and it had been a long time since I had challenged myself or pushed my boundaries.

What happens when you start challenging the things that scare you?

Charlotte: What made you want to start pushing your boundaries?

Joyce: I think until my mid 40s, I played it safe with a lot of things. Then I decided that I’m getting older, and I want to do things I never previously considered. If I see something that interests me, I try to go for it.

Charlotte: What are some other big things you’ve tried in recent years?

Joyce: I learned to swim as an adult. I had been afraid of the water my whole life, but I decided I was going to learn how to swim so I could do a triathlon.

I learned to swim, completed a triathlon, and got hooked. I discovered that I love swimming in open water.

My first true open water experience in the ocean was at Aquatic Park in San Francisco. We happened to be there during the Alcatraz Invitational, and I thought it looked really cool. So I trained for it. I first did a private Alcatraz swim, then completed the Alcatraz Invitational the following year.

Charlotte: After you committed to the Camp Retreat, did you have any fears or hesitations?

Joyce: Oh my God, yes. When you said there was no running water. But I was already committed, so I thought, you know what, I’m just going to jump in and figure it out. And you certainly made it work.

Charlotte: Before this experience, what did the word camping bring to mind? How did that compare with reality?

Joyce: Dirt. Insect bites. Heat. Being uncomfortable.

To be honest, I experienced some of those things during the retreat, but they weren’t nearly as big in reality as I had built them up to be in my head from childhood. It was a shift in perspective. It was about appreciating the experience for what it was and realizing that when you get home, you just scrub everything off.

It’s no big deal.

Charlotte: One of the women said something similar after getting into the cold water. She said, “It’s never quite as scary as you think it’s going to be.”

Joyce: That is exactly right. A lot of the things we’re afraid of are built up in our heads. You try something, and 99.9% of the time, it’s not as big a deal as you thought it would be.

What was it like arriving at camp alone?

Charlotte: Did you have any personal goals going into the weekend?

Joyce: Nothing huge. I just wanted to have a good time, experience it, keep an open mind, and enjoy myself. Once I realized there was basically no cell reception unless you walked up the road a bit, I committed to being unplugged and present.

Charlotte: What was your first impression when you arrived?

Joyce: I was surprised by how comfortable it felt from the beginning. I got there, gave you a hug, said hello, and started hauling everything out of my car.

Krysta immediately jumped in and helped me put up my tent. It was just one thing flowing into the next. I kept myself open to the experience, and it immediately felt very welcoming.

Charlotte: What surprised you most about the retreat?

Joyce: How quickly I got to know the other women. In such a short period of time, I learned things about each woman’s life experience and background.

Everyone was interesting and had a story to share. We were all on equal footing during the retreat. There was no judgment. There was acceptance and openness. Everyone was listening, sharing, and laughing. There was this really comfortable ease to the whole experience.

Charlotte: Every retreat, I’m amazed by how different everyone is and how well people get along.

Joyce: Someone made a comment that when women get to a certain age, whatever that age may be, we seem to become more open to experiences and to connecting with other women.

There is something really special about that. We’re usually in such a rush that we don’t give ourselves time to make those kinds of connections. It’s always go, go, go.

Having committed time to do things together, eat together, play games, laugh, and just sit around made it easier to open yourself up, listen to other women, and really get to know them.

When did camping stop feeling like something to endure?

Charlotte: What were some of your favorite moments?

Joyce: Some of the crazy drawings from Telestrations were hilarious. Tiffany is such an accomplished chef, so all of the meals were great.

I also loved when Winona [the wandering camp dog] walked into camp and just settled in as one of the women. That was a lot of fun. But honestly, I keep coming back to the ease of the whole thing. It just felt good not to overcomplicate anything.

Charlotte: Before this trip, would you ever have put the words “ease” and “camping” together?

Joyce: Absolutely not. I was telling my friends at work about the retreat and saying I want to do it again next summer. One of my friends, who is also my manager, said, “Next time, I’m sending you with my tent. The thing is a Taj Mahal.”

Apparently it even has dividers to create rooms. So yes, I’m absolutely open to doing this again and seeing what comes of it.

Charlotte: Was there a moment when you realized you actually loved it?

Joyce: Sitting around the campfire playing Telestrations.

It was silly and fun. It felt like being a kid again and just enjoying yourself in the moment. There was something very free and easy about sitting around a campfire with a group of women playing a game. Nothing more, nothing less. That was one of my favorite moments.

Charlotte: How did it feel being with a group of women you had never met before?

Joyce: To be honest, that isn’t terribly intimidating to me because of the work I do. In HR, I’m constantly meeting people I’ve never met before.

You learn to meet people where they are and assume positive intent. So that part wasn’t as intimidating for me as it might be for someone else.

Charlotte: Anything else about the retreat experience you want to mention?

Joyce: I loved the swag. The bandanas were awesome, and I love the T shirt. More importantly, I want to do it again.

I hope I see some of the women again, whether at another retreat or somewhere else. I really enjoyed the group and how kind everyone was to each other.

What changed when you disconnected from everyday life?

Charlotte: Now that you’ve had time to reflect, did the retreat shift anything mentally, emotionally, or physically?

Joyce: Physically, I learned that I need to put sunscreen on my shoulders next time. I got a sunburn at Scott’s Flat Reservoir. Emotionally, it reminded me how genuinely kind and curious people can be when they come together for an experience.

I don’t know what everyone else’s individual goals or intentions were, but for me it was a reminder that when people go into something with an open mind, they are more likely than not to enjoy themselves and share that joy with the people around them.

I also came away very relaxed, even though it was pretty hot. Disconnecting from my phone, social media, and all that background noise was really nice. I had forgotten what that felt like.

Charlotte: It was only two nights and three days, but sometimes that’s all it takes.

Joyce: Absolutely. I also keep thinking about the gratitude circle and hearing everyone share their different perspectives.

There were some really sweet reactions. Without getting into anyone’s personal details, it was moving to watch people respond to one another so openly.

What would you tell another woman who thinks camping isn’t for her?

Charlotte: Most women come to our retreats solo. What is your take on doing things solo, especially as a woman?

Joyce: I love it. When you travel solo, your opinion is the only one that matters when it comes to what you want to do.

I’ve traveled solo many times. Most recently, I spent five days alone in London after traveling there with family for my niece’s university graduation. Two years before that, I went to London by myself for five days. This past March, I went to New Orleans for a couple of days to visit the National World War II Museum.

I like traveling by myself because I dictate my own schedule, what I want to see, and what I want to do. I love it.

Charlotte: A lot of people find solo travel intimidating.

Joyce: They should try it. Nine times out of ten, it works out. You just have to be patient, think things through, and not panic.

Charlotte: Any other thoughts now that you’ve had time to reflect?

Joyce: I’m just glad you offer this. If you offer more than one next summer when your property is up and running, I would absolutely love to come to another one.

I love being outdoors, but what really made the retreat special was the group of women and getting to know everybody. You created a fun, safe, relaxed environment where everyone could just enjoy themselves.

ready for some fun rapid fire questions?

Charlotte: What is one word you would use to describe the Camp Retreat?

Joyce: Amazing.

Charlotte: What would you tell someone on the fence, especially someone who doesn’t consider herself a camper?

Joyce: Do it.

Charlotte: What is your camp alter ego?

Joyce: “Newbie.” Not just because I was new to camping, but because it felt like being reborn into the experience. I was letting go of the old memories and associations I had with camping and creating new ones that were positive, joyful, and fun.

Now that I’m an adult, I have the capacity to appreciate it from a different perspective. I was a newbie, but I learned quickly and soaked up knowledge from the other women.

Charlotte: You seem to be on this trajectory of trying or recreating experiences you didn’t like before. What’s next?

Joyce: Now that I’ve broken the ice in terms of pushing my boundaries, I want to get back into running. I signed myself up for another half marathon. It has been eight or nine years since my last one, so it’s time to pick it back up and see what I can do. I’m not fast. I’m like a camel. I just endure. A lot of it is mental. Once you hit 10 miles, it’s just a 5K.

Charlotte: You’ve done some serious endurance events too.

Joyce: I have. When I was training for my first Half Ironman, I had to interrupt my training and go through a series of medical tests. By the time race day approached, I hadn’t been following the original training plan. But the race was paid for. The Airbnb was paid for, so I decided to see how far I could get. I got in the water. Got out of the water. Got on the bike. I kept making little deals with myself. Reevaluate at the next water station. Then the next one. Finish the bike. Rack it. Put on the running shoes. See how the run goes. I’m an experienced long distance runner. I got it done. A lot of it really is mental.

Ready to rewrite what adventure means to you?

You don’t have to consider yourself a camper to come to Camp Retreat. Joyce arrived carrying years of reasons why camping wasn’t for her and left already thinking about next summer.

Ready to find your people outdoors?

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